How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt: A Guide for People Pleasers

Summary

What happens when you say no and someone doesn't like it? Psychotherapist and "Queen of Boundaries" Dana Skaggs joins Mandi to break down why boundary setting feels so scary, especially for survivors and recovering people pleasers, and what to actually do about it.

Dana shares the fear behind every boundary (rejection, abandonment), a simple yard analogy for knowing what's yours to control, and real scripts for dealing with coworkers, partners, teenagers, and boundary busters who won't take no for an answer.

Resources

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend - the book Dana calls the seminal text on boundaries, and one Mandi credits with helping her own healing

• Dana's prior podcast conversation with Mandi - How To Trust Your Intuition After Trauma

Connect with Dana Skaggs:

• Website: DanaSkaggs.com

• Free Boundaries Quiz: DanaSkaggs.com/quiz

• Therapy (Tennessee only): DanaSkaggsTherapy.com

• LinkedIn: Dana Skaggs

Connect with Mandi:

• Website: WomenAwareAndPrepared.com

• Take the Free Intuition Quiz: WomenAwareAndPrepared.com/Quiz

• Instagram: @WomenAwareAndPrepared

• LinkedIn: Mandi Pratt

TIMESTAMPS

[03:00] Dana's background and becoming the "Queen of Boundaries"

[06:00] The fear behind setting boundaries: rejection and abandonment

[10:00] The yard analogy: what's yours to control

[15:00] Real example: a college student setting a boundary with friends

[20:00] Being specific, consistent, and why we "train" people how to treat us

[25:00] Handling pushback: grudge holders and passive aggression

[30:00] Boundaries in relationships: the dishes example

[35:00] The boomerang concept: don't let resentment build

[40:00] Starting the conversation: the Columbo method

[45:00] Boundary busters and consequences with a someone you live with

[50:00] Where to find Dana and closing thoughts

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.