My Story Part 3: How I Healed from DV​

Summary

In this podcast episode, the host addresses a question she frequently receives about her healing journey after escaping a domestic abuse situation. Her friend, Andrea, interviews her, posing questions that many people ask her. 

The host shares details about her leaving process and the lack of resources available at the time, about 20 years ago. She emphasizes the role of faith, both helpful and harmful, and the challenges of navigating well-intentioned but misguided advice within a religious context. 

The episode delves into the practical aspects of leaving, the difficulties of co-parenting with an abuser, and the ongoing legal struggles. The host also offers insights into supporting survivors, highlighting the importance of compassion, patience, and providing choices. 

The conversation extends to addressing concerns about the impact on children and the complexity of explaining the situation to them. The host shares her experience of speaking with her son about his father's absence and the importance of giving children a sense of control amid chaos. 

Throughout the episode, there is a strong emphasis on the gradual process of healing, the role of counseling, and the support available for survivors, encouraging others in similar situations to seek help and resources. The episode concludes with the host expressing confidence in her ability to protect herself and her son, while acknowledging the uncertainties of the future.

Lessons Learned

Lesson 1 = Healing from abuse takes time. Here’s what helped Mandi: 

Spending a lot of time being present in nature / Lots of ongoing individual counseling / Getting closer to God to hear him / Friends and family who had similar experiences

Lesson 2 = It’s important to stay away from factors that impede healing. For Mandi those were:

Couples counseling / Spiritual abuse / Judgement from people without the whole story / People pleasing / Harmful cultural ideas / Lack of resources / Being a people pleaser

Lesson 3 = An abuser isn’t usually abusive 100% of the time, but any is enough.

Lesson 4 = Get support! It’s a good idea to develop a safety plan with your counselor, hotline or other expert

Lesson 5 = The worst thing you can do to support a victim is judge them and abandon them when they don’t do what you suggest. Just listen and provide a safe space.

Resources

You can say thank you here if this podcast is helpful to you

National DV Hotline

Here’s the book Andrea mentions “The Life Saving Divorce”

You can find your podcast host, Mandi, on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.